That Moment of Silence
by ERURUUlove
Summary: When your children finally shut up and go to sleep. Kyouya and Kaoru were having trouble with their kids and there doesn't seem to be anyway for these spawns of Satan to calm down. What better way to get help then ask your friends?


**A/N: Ok. Let's pretend for a moment that Kaoru in someway _magically _got impregnated by Kyouya. Sure I don't really like the idea of anyone in the host club preggo, but I do love the idea of my OTP's married with children. Sadly: to have that happen they would've had to have 'bed relations', and gone through '9months of the conflagration.'**

** I'm deciding to skip Kyouya and Kaoru's carnal bed adventures. (That's a whole other fanfic sweetie.) I'm also skipping Kaoru's 9 month opportunity to potentially boss the Shadow King around. (Sadly that's ALSO a whole other fanfic.) I might sound like an M-preg hater from this but I'm not, honestly. I'm just reeaaallllyyy hard to please/finicky with my Ouran stuff. (But then again there was that conversation I had in the bathroom with one of my BFFs (Aoharu), all of our good conversations happen in there, and now apparently we assigned 'The Blizzard of '09' as the night Kaoru…well…YOU KNOW a little _too_ hard.) **

** This fast forwards to around 3 years into their twin's lives. NOTE: The kids are actually genderbends of the Hitachiin twins I made but never used…Hikori represents Hikaru and Kaori represents Kaoru. Such, _authentic_ names, right?**

** Have fun reading my family sap and see you in the footnote for the rest of that WONDERFUL snow story~.**

"Kyouya?"

The two were lying on the couch with their kids. When the ravenette heard his name he turned his head to his husband. The child that was on his chest turned to her 'mom' as well and continued to shove her tiny fist in her mouth.

"Do you remember when I said I wanted to have kids?" The redhead fidgeted from his seat on the opposite side of the couch. The other girl he held was also attempting to shove her fist in her mouth.

"What about it?" The elder of the two males asked and scooted up on the couch. The girl he was holding snatched the glasses off his face and began chewing on them, complete with 'OM NOM NOM' noises. He sighed and took them away from her, "If this is an 'I want to have more' talk, then count me out. You can go have them with your brother."

The redhead sighed, "I don't like him like that anymore, and how many times do I have to tell you that?" He then looked around the room at the crayon scribblings all over the living room walls, "How much money do you think we'd get if we sold our offspring from hell?"

Kyouya remained where he was but raised an eyebrow, "Are you saying you want to sell our-.."

"Why not?"

The elder let out a small chuckle at the abrupt answer and got up, taking the other 'Spawn of Satan' as Kaoru's brother, Hikaru, had dubbed them (and Kyouya when they met) into his arms. Almost immediately after the two noticed they were both being held by their ravenette father they began to shriek and swipe at the other.

"Ugh." Kaoru flopped down onto the now vacant part of the couch, landing on his back and covered his eyes with his arms, "How long did you say rebellious phases usually last?"

"6 to 9 months."

Kaoru yanked his arms away from him and waved them around, "Oh my god, we'll never sleep again!"

Kyouya sighed as that oh so proverbial vein began to throb in his forehead. "I could go try to put them asleep. But we both know how well that worked the first time."

"We should just go get in our car and drop our devil children off in a basket on Hikaru and Tamaki's doorstep!" There was a brief pause before Kaoru sat up and raised his index finger like he had just come up with the greatest plan ever. This time Kyouya was the one to immediately respond.

"Now Kaoru-…"

"Oh come on!" The redhead giggled, "I wouldn't be so cruel as to drop my dear flesh and blood off in the care of those two!" The two girls who were still in Kyouya's arms puffed up their cheeks and promptly spat on their older father's face. He scrunched up his nose at this and sat them on the ground; beginning to wipe his children's saliva off his face with the edge of his shirt. Somewhere on their little 'voyage' to the floor, Kaori, the younger of the two had managed to once again take the glasses off his face and flopped down onto her rear end to gnaw on them.

"How about we just drop off Hikori, I mean she at least shows _care_ for you and-…"

"I am not leaving my children in the care of your dim-witted brother and his all the more unintelligent boyfriend."

"Well not _both_ of them…Hikori theoretically speaking _is_ Hikaru, seeing how she's the older twin so I believe Hikaru should-…" He trailed off as a snap was heard. They looked down at Kaori who was holding her now broken 'toy'. (I.E. Kyouya's spit covered glasses.)

"Uh-oh." She mumbled. Slowly she got on her feet and handed them back to their owner. Kyouya scowled as he took them back and began digging in his pants pocket for the cell phone, "I'm just going to call all of them to watch our kids now that I have to get new glasses." He walked over to the redhead and patted his cheek. "After I go buy new glasses, we'll go out to eat somewhere and have some time off from them."

Kaoru sighed. "Sounds good to me."

"Kyouya what happened to your glasses?" Tamaki yelled as he saw the remains of them on the kitchen counter. The two causes were busy rolling around in the living room making obnoxious gibberish noises at each other. Hikaru was behind the two lecturing Kaoru about something akin to

"This is why you don't have sex with the shadow king! It only leads to more of his kind!" and blah blah blah.

"Never mind them; I just need you five to watch our kids while we go out."

Everyone's heads turned to the two girls who were busy eating their hands once again and squealing for no apparent reason. Hikaru then turned to the ravenette, "Excuse me? You want us to watch your hell seed-…"

"Of course we'll watch them!" Tamaki blurted out. Now, Tamaki, not like the others, had not seen the little monsters for quite some time so his little agreement wasn't exactly the most favorable thing in the room at the moment. Hikaru immediately had to have his outlook made.

"No way!"

Haruhi was the second to but in, "Uh…I don't think so Kyouya."

Mori didn't say much but he did nonetheless make this unpleasant face. Hani looked around awkwardly for a minute before shaking his head. "I don't know about this Kyou-chan."

"Oh _COME ON_!" A few of them jumped at Kaoru's sudden outburst. "You have _no_ idea what it's like going for a month without sleeping because you can't get any peace and quiet! SOMEONE is ALWAYS screaming in this house!"

Hikaru rolled his eyes, "I am dating the KING of crying and screaming, thank you very much. That whole 'month without sleeping' thing is the reason I can't watch Studio Ghibli movies with him. We got five minutes into our second viewing of 'Spirited Away' and he started bawling because of the 'memories it brought back'. That's all I'm going to say on that subject. Now sometimes I may like the screaming but-…" Tamaki's face turned bright red at this and he clamped his hand over his boyfriend's mouth, "I'm changing the subject!" **(A/N: You better have known in which way I meant he likes the screaming 'cuz I aint explaining it. Your only hint is that it involves beds. And sometimes the hallway and kitchen counters.)**

Kyouya raised his eyebrows at this and looked over at Haruhi who looked about as red as Tamaki was. The ravenette looked back at the other couple in the room, "All right, are you going to watch our kids or not?" The brunette he had been looking at earlier sighed, "Fine." This seemed to cause a chain reaction. Apparently if a girl agreed to it, the two children seemed harmless.

"I'm in if Haru-chan's in!" The shorter blonde in the room hugged her arm.

"Mm."

"Yay!"

"How much will you pay me?"

Kyouya stepped forward and leaned into the oldest redhead in the room's ear, "You'll get nothing and my husband and I might rethink dropping our 'Spawns of Satan' off on your doorstep and moving far away to where you'll never see us again." Hikaru's eyes widened, "You _wouldn't_."

Kaoru leaned into his other ear, "Neither of us has slept for a month. Try us."

Hikaru stepped forward, away from his younger twin and his husband. "Fine. I'll help watch your hell seed children." With this the two ran out of the door and in a matter of moments vanished from the driveway in their car. Hikaru ran to the doorway and poked his head out, "But don't blame me if you come back and they've been corrupted in some way shape or form!"

They turned back to the three year olds in the living room.

"So now what?"

The two kids were staring up at the five somewhat unfamiliar people. One of them looked just like their redheaded father but the others were practically strangers.

Hikori got up and toddled over to Hikaru. He looked down at her, "What? Do you want me to feed you or something?" The three year old's eyebrows furrowed before she mumbled, "You're not daddy."

Now you'd think a grown man wouldn't be scared of his brother's three year old girl…but when said toddler could make faces as scary as her ravenette father, anyone in their right mind would be terrified. Hikaru looked over at the rest of the group who had moved to the other side of the room away from the threatening little girls. "U-uh…What does your dad usually give you to make you stop making that face?" Her face lit up, "Candy!" "I don't have any." Her face went back to the imitation of Kyouya's and Hani began digging in his pockets, pulling out two pieces of chocolate. "I have some!" The girls ran over. Immediately deciding that they liked this short blond person, he gave them chocolate after all!

Immediately after the two girls put the chocolate in their mouth it was as if Hani had just lit the fuse on some crazy bombs. What's worse is that these two 'crazy bombs' originated from a devil and a shadow king. The two sped off somewhere as Mori, Hani, and Haruhi ran after them not wanting anything to get broken. They sure didn't want to endure the wrath of Kyouya if his shit got wrecked.

Hikaru walked back over to his boyfriend. "This wasn't my fault. You saw me! Tell the devil my brother married that."

"I know you didn't…A-and why'd you have to mention _that_ in front of everyone?"

"Because I felt like it, screamer. Now come on!" He ran in the direction the others had after swatting the blonde on the butt and leaving him to flush in the kitchen. He had a feeling things were going to get worse today.

"Hey Kyouya?"

"Hmmm?" The ravenette looked over at him as they sat in the car.

"I was just thinking…Wasn't there anything we should've warned them about before leaving them with our kids?"

"They already know what Hikori and Kaori are like, what warnings could they possibly have needed, Kaoru?"

"Well, I mean like not giving them chocolate because the last time it happened we were stuck chasing them around the house for the next three hours…" Kyouya tilted his head and glanced down at his phone. He had a message from Hikaru. Kaoru glanced at the screen, "Why's he texting you?" "I don't know, let me check." He held the phone to where he could see it and sighed upon reading what it said. "What happened?" "Hani gave them chocolate…" "Oh shit…" "Exactly what I was thinking." "…" "…Should we go home?" "…No." "Smart Kaoru." The phone flashed again, another message from Hikaru lit the screen.

'**YOU COME BACK HOME AND PUT THESE SPAWNS OF SATAN TO SLEEP!'**

**A/N:**

**After assigning the snow as Kaoru's AHEM, there was a giant snow storm. Needless to say me and Aoharu stepped out of the school building to go get McDonalds and were all, "HOMG O n O" **

** We decided to skillfully hop around it all like the ninjas we are and eventually made it to McDonalds. However on the way back we ran into it. This giant snow bank which had gotten bigger since we last hopped over it. This time we were holding our food so we're all "Oh. We might have problems this time." **

** I, being the sexeh beast I am, was all "PFFT I'm wearing combat boots I'm going to trample through this stuff and be FINE." Yeah, NO. There just had to be these things called shoelace holes and when I got out of the bank (I.E. the pile of AHEM.) I start screaming, "OH GOD KAORU'S JIZZ IS IN MY SHOE!" Unfortunately for little Aoharu, Kaoru's snowstorm was not as kind to her. I turn back to see her, now out of the snow bank, hopping around on one foot yelling, "IT TOOK MY SHOE!" Neither of us got through unscathed. Later that day, my self proclaimed child with her (IDK we got like a Host Club family thing going on all up in there.) was listening to the story and is all, "LET'S GO OUTSIDE AND MAKE SEMEN ANGELS."…God I love my friends.**

**Title: That Moment of Silence…**

**Sum: …When your children finally shut up and go to sleep. Kyouya and Kaoru were having trouble with their kids and there doesn't seem to be anyway for these spawns of Satan to calm down. What better way to get help then ask your brother who hates your husband and the rest of your un-baby experienced friends? PERFECT.**

**Rated for suggestive lines and Hikaru's language when addressing children **


End file.
